Thursday, February 23, 2006

The Score

The Score (2001)

Implausible heist movie. HMS (heist movie sycophants) regard implausibility as a positive thing. Even the most cursory search of the internet will reveal numerous HMS calling this movie “The Greatest Movie Ever Made.”

Robert DeNiro plays an aging thief named Knick. The movie opens with a nearly bungled robbery that convinces Knick that it is time to call it quits. Unfortunately, a plot contrivance prevents him from being paid for his efforts. He is convinced against his better judgment to try one more time so that he can pay off the mortgage on his jazz club. DeNiro is a solid professional, so he does a creditable job, but the lackluster script does not inspire him to take it to the next level.

Marlon Brando plays an enormous caricature of himself named Maximum Girth. The other characters just call him “Max.” Brando apparently had so little respect for director Frank Oz that he insisted that DeNiro direct some scenes. Brando also wanted to film some scenes with no pants, using “the heat” as a flimsy excuse. Maybe if Brando lost about 400 pounds, he could handle the heat better. The constant wheezing of this character is painful on the ears.

The aptly named Angela Basset mails in a tepid performance in an extended cameo as Diane Hound. This character was not even in the original script. The movie would have been substantially improved if this character had been left on the cutting room floor.

Edward Norton is outstanding both as Brian the Retard and Jack the Thief. Norton gives 110% in a wasted effort. It is absolutely heartbreaking to see a result this poor after a brilliant actor gives everything he has.

Gary Farmer is very good as Knick’s friend Burp. One of the best scenes in the film is where Jack beats the snot out of Burp. This character deserved more development.

The ending is so manipulative as to be pathetic. Contrived does not even come close to describing this fiasco. We are supposed to believe that Jack has so much time to burn that he can sit around twiddling his thumbs, but that he does not have time to verify the contents of the package. We are supposed to believe that Knick’s jazz club is so important to him that he is willing to risk everything for it, but also that he can walk away from it with an “easy come, easy go” rationalization.

The movie is a huge disappointment. It was widely reported that filming started before the script was finished and it shows. Norton’s heroic performance could not save such a doomed project.

The producers, directors, and writers should all be ashamed of themselves. However, they know that no real effort is required because the HMS guarantee a box office success.

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