Thursday, December 31, 2009

Friday, October 09, 2009


Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Translation = Overcelebration of liberal politics.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Tortilla wrappers

U.S. Forest Service officials apologized again today for what they called "regrettable references" about Hispanics during a press conference last month.

- Denver Post (link here)

But it was not their intent to offend anyone.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Dinner with Palin

The ex-Republican vice presidential candidate is offering the dinner as part of a charity auction on eBay for the Ride 2 Recovery program, which supports wounded veterans through cycling programs.

- AP/Denver Post (link here)

Excellent that Sarah Palin is helping to raise money for charity.

A memory to cherish for some lucky winner.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Business as usual

In effect, Yale University Press is allowing violent extremists to set the terms of free speech. As an academic press that embraces the university's motto of "Lux et Veritas," it should be ashamed.

- Washington Post (link here)

No surprise here.

The far left is never ashamed.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

A Good Plan

The Central Intelligence Agency in 2004 hired outside contractors from the private security contractor Blackwater USA as part of a secret program to locate and assassinate top operatives of Al Qaeda, according to current and former government officials.

- NY Times (link here)

Sounds like a good plan to me.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Fly Under Country

According to a story in The Washington Post (link here), neutrinos are flying under Wisconsin even as we speak.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

No good deed goes unpunished

"The management of Wisconsin State Fair Park commends Mayor Barrett for his actions as a good Samaritan after his departure from Wisconsin State Fair last night," Harris said in the statement. "His efforts to aid a citizen's cries for help should be praised and applauded."

- Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (link here)

The mayor tried to do the right thing and suffered for it.

The responsible criminal should be punished to the full extant of the law.

Climate change

Documents that, contrary to what liberal sound bites suggest, climate change is the norm.

Maureen Dowd vs. Sarahcuda

Sarahcuda knows, from her brush with Barry on the campaign trail, that he is vulnerable on matters that demand a visceral and muscular response rather than a logical and book-learned one.

- Maureen Dowd, NY Times (link here)

Interesting opinion piece.

How many people have seen "Logan's Run?"

One of my favorite movies.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Academic cowardice

“a definitive account of the entire controversy but to not include the actual cartoons is to me, frankly, idiotic.”

“It’s not just academic cowardice, it is just silly and unnecessary.”

- Rez Aslan, religious scholar, quoted by the New York Times, referring to the decision by Yale Academic Press not to reprint cartoons of Muhammad in a book about those cartoons (link here).

More pandering by the far left.

The images are readily available (for example, link here).

Kathleen Parker

The latest fake insider/whistleblower is Kathleen Parker, the Barry Lynn of the South. Fresh off her mainstream media tour as a Sarah Palin-hating "conservative," Parker is now a self-proclaimed Southerner blaming opposition to Obama's policies on the region's reputed racism.

- Ann Coulter (link here)

Another bullseye.

And I never was a fan of Kathleen Parker.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Maureen Dowd

The postpartisan, postracial, post-Clinton-dysfunction world that Barack Obama was supposed to usher in when he hit town on his white charger, with turtle doves tweeting, has vanished.

- Maureen Dowd, NY Times (link here)

Sometimes, reality intrudes.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Organic Beer

According to an article at (link here), locally-brewed organic beer is the responsible choice.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Best t-shirt

The best t-shirt I saw at State Fair yesterday said:

"If Democrats were smarter,
they would be Republicans."

It would make a good shirt for the pass-around game at Christmas.

No African Witchdoctors

Hypothetical global warming a hundred years from now is worse than this?

Telling Africans they can’t have electricity and economic development – except what can be produced with some wind turbines or little solar panels – is immoral. It is a crime against humanity.

- Fiona Kobusingye, (link here)

She makes some good points.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Coin Toss Randomness, or Lack Thereof

Yet recent research into coin flips has discovered that the laws of mechanics determine the outcome of coin tosses: The startling finding is that they aren't random. Instead, for natural flips, the chance of a coin landing in the same position as it started is about 51 percent. Heads facing up predicts heads; tails predicts tails.

- Washington Post (link here)

Very interesting.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Global warming hits Minnesota

Colder yet was International Falls, "the Nation's Ice Box," which recorded its coldest July on record with an average temperate of 59 degrees, the National Weather Service said.

- Star Tribune (link here)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Islamists vs. China

Very interesting article on Islamists vs. China by Charles Hill at (link here).

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

It Came from Wasilla

A political hatchet job from Vanity Fair, but maybe not as much of one as I expected.

Now there is damnation by faint praise.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Quickdraw McGraw

(Thanks to my brother for forwarding these pictures to me.)

This is one of the consequences of practicing your fast draw when drunk.


Friday, June 19, 2009

Ted Nugent

In the meantime, America should walk loudly, proudly, and carry an oil-soaked 2x4 wrapped with rusty barbed wire and always be ready to swat international kooks upside the head.

- Ted Nugent, Human Events (link here)


Wasting taxpayer money

(Thanks to Andrew for calling this story to my attention.)

A second attempt by the University of Wisconsin System to install a new computer payroll program is millions of dollars over budget and a year behind schedule. Moreover, a company fired over subpar work creating Wisconsin's statewide voter database in 2007 is working as a subcontractor on the project.

- AP/Chicago Tribune (link here)

The UW system works overtime to find new ways to waste taxpayer money.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Global warming vs. Summer

Across Minnesota and the Dakotas, temperatures could be below normal through the end of August, according to the federal Climate Prediction Center. The outlook for "meteorological summer" -- June, July and August -- prompted one Accuweather forecaster to predict a "year without summer."

- Star Tribune (link here)

I like cool summers.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Debbie Schlussel vs. Sarah Palin

But, sadly, now it comes from blind followers of Sarah Palin, who've given up all allegiance to traditional conservative views in blind loyalty to a woman who isn't conservative, just as ambitious and empty as her followers are blindly faithful.

- Debbie Schlussel (link here)


Solar panels

Michigan is also pursuing wind-power technology, solar-panel manufacturing, even production of railroad cars — any viable industry that might be interested in hiring the thousands of engineers who used to work in the auto industry.

- NY Times (link here)

In the old days, everyone needed a car.

Now, everyone needs a solar panel?

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Global warming slams Twin Cities

The Twin Cities are wrapping up a summer cold snap that hasn't been matched since 1951.

- AP/Star Tribune (link here)

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Obama hieroglyphic

CNBC/Washington Post (link here)


Friday, May 29, 2009


Gushy article on the possibilities of digital assistants using artificial intelligence.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The return of the son of the swordsman, part II

A sword-wielding man dressed in black robbed a 7-Eleven in McKinney, demanding cash and cigarettes, authorities said.

- Dallas Morning News (link here)

A new trend?

Monday, May 18, 2009

The Plagiarizer

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd has admitted to using a paragraph virtually word-for-word from a prominent liberal blogger without attribution.

- AP/ajc (link here)

Not surprising.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Solar relief

The strategy I propose would redirect a portion of the funds earmarked for loan modifications under the Making Home Affordable Plan (MHAP) and use them instead to fund the installation of solar photovoltaic (PV) panels on the roofs of a segment of distressed homeowners.

- Robert Lutey, (link here)

Gotta give the guy some points for creative thinking here.

Not necessarily practical, but very creative.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Invasive government

Obama administration officials are contemplating a major overhaul of the compensation practices in the financial services industry, moving beyond banks to include more loosely regulated hedge funds and private equity firms.

- NY Times (link here)

Or, invasive government seeks ways to become more invasive.

Maybe someday everyone will have a government job like the old Soviet-style system that was and still is much beloved by liberals.

Of course, the top liberals would have their own private dachas and luxury goods stores.

Auto executive of the year

When Barack Obama joked at the White House Correspondents Association dinner that Car and Driver named him auto executive of the year, he was supposed to be joking.

But he really wasn't. The last laugh is on the companies who accepted government bailouts and the resulting government-style management.

- Debbie Schlussel (link here)

A sad situation, but this is why liberals elected Obama.

Fair use

Interesting article on fair use of copyrighted material at (link here).

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Factuality Tour

The story of coal-generated electricity in America.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The National Socialism of Obamanomics

Fascinating article by James Srodes in The American Spectator.

Mr. Unprincipled

Happily for Republicans still smarting from last week’s defection, you can have a successful political party without centrists like Arlen Specter.

The Republican Party will miss the Pennsylvania senator’s vote, but it’s hard to imagine anyone taking inspiration from such a consummately unprincipled figure.

- Ross Douthat, NY Times (link here)

Excellent quotes.

On the relative proportion of conservatives

The bipartisan Battleground Poll, as recently as Aug. 20, 2008, revealed that 60 percent of Americans identify themselves as conservative and only 36 percent as liberal.

- David Limbaugh (link here)

All the more frustrating that Republicans either cannot or will not capitalize on those proportions.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Political bias

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano apologized today to U.S. military veterans who took offense at being mentioned in a domestic intelligence report that concluded that a declining economy and the nation's political climate could fuel a resurgence of right-wing extremism, saying any slight was unintended.

- Spencer Hsu, Washington Post (link here)

A Clintonesque attempt to lie her way out of it.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Obama reunites The Dead

The surviving (and formerly feuding) members of the Grateful Dead had a secret impromptu meeting Monday evening with the man they credit with reuniting them: President Obama.

- The Sleuth, Washington Post (link here)

And now millions of Grateful Dead fans are Obama fans. Wow.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Global warming

The theory that climate change is chiefly caused by solar influences “is no longer tenable,” says US National Academy of Sciences president Ralph Cicerone. Carbon dioxide, he argues, is the key driver of recent climate change. I beg to differ.

- Willie Soon, (link here)

Interesting article on the sun's influence.

Shovel Ready

Dogfish Head

New, improved website promoting their craft-brewed ales.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Muhammad cartoons

A Danish press freedom group said Wednesday it is selling copies of a cartoon of the Prophet Muhammad that caused outrage across the Muslim World.

- AP/azcentral (link here)


Friday, April 03, 2009

Don't drink the water

The municipal water in Minneapolis again is wrinkling noses with a telltale odor and taste.

- StarTribune (link here)

Is this what causes the excessive socialism?

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Dietary disaster

The West Michigan Whitecaps say they have no plans to put a warning label on an enormous new hamburger they're selling this season - despite a vegan advocacy group's request to do just that.

- Miami Herald/Grand Rapids Press (link here)

I want one.

And the t-shirt.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Bodacious burger

The West Michigan Whitecaps, a minor league baseball team, will be offering up major league cholesterol, carbohydrates and calories in an enormous hamburger being added to the menu this year at the Fifth Third Ballpark.

- AP/Miami Herald (link here)

This is the burger for me.

Highway to Hell

The head of the European Union slammed President Barack Obama's plan to spend nearly $2 trillion to push the U.S. economy out of recession as "the road to hell" that EU governments must avoid.

- AP/reviewjournal (link here)

Maybe the guy has been listening to AC/DC songs.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I love read meat

Eating red meat increases the chances of dying prematurely, according to the first large study to examine whether regularly eating beef or pork increases mortality.

- Washington Post (link here)

I guess I will have to cut out the twice-a-day steak.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Bumper stickers

(Thanks to Mark for calling my attention to these bumper stickers.)

Friday, March 20, 2009

Confiscatory taxes

Congress moved yesterday to levy punitive taxes on bonuses paid by financial firms receiving government aid, threatening to undermine federal efforts to rescue the financial system by driving away participants in the programs.

- Washington Post (link here)

Just Congress being Congress.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Maureen Dowd

Isn’t that like giving bonuses to the arsonists who started a fire because they alone know what kind of accelerants they used to start it?

- Maureen Dowd, NY Times (link here)

Does she make this stuff up herself, or does she have writers that supply her with material?

Follow the Japanese example?

Iowa Sen. Charles Grassley suggested that AIG executives should accept responsibility for the collapse of the insurance giant by resigning or killing themselves.

- AP/Dallas Morning News (link here)

Interesting advice.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Chickens, or lack thereof

Nationwide, more than 100 cities, spanning the urban spectrum from New York to Salt Lake City, from Miami to Missoula, have recently declared themselves fair game for fowl.

- Denver Post (link here)

Unlike the dimwits who run Hales Corners. A little girl cannot even have a single pet chicken here.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Radon from granite counter tops?

Homeowners seeking just the right granite for their countertops have something new to ponder, besides which color complements their cabinets. Some are wondering about the radiation and radon gas that might be emanating from those showy slabs.

- Star Tribune (link here)

Largely unfounded is right.

Friday, March 13, 2009

New Mexico goes liberal

The New Mexico Legislature has voted to repeal the death penalty and replace it with a sentence of life in prison without the possibility of parole.

- AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal (link here)

Future Democrats

According to the Center for Immigration Studies, illegal aliens will take 300,000 of the 2 million construction jobs to be created by the stimulus bill. The CIS figure is based on Census Bureau estimates that 15 percent of all construction workers are illegal aliens or immigrants who are not authorized to work in the United States.

- Pat Buchanan, Human Events (link here)

Yes, and the Pelosi/Reid Axis of Evil hopes that every one of those illegal aliens will someday be a registered member of The Democratic Party.

Million dollar Xbox

A Yale University student from Ohio has filed a lawsuit seeking $1 million from US Airways for a video game console he says was taken from his luggage.

- AP/azcentral (link here)

I had no idea that an Xbox was so valuable.

A new nation

A man accused of driving drunk said Pennsylvania courts have no jurisdiction over him because he's his own country.

- AP/azcentral (link here)

Is he going to join the United Nations?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Wauwatosa murder

Boldt, 38, was shot shortly after 1 p.m. Saturday at the northeast corner of N. 68th St. and W. Wisconsin Ave.

- jsonline (link here)

We drove by there a few minutes after it happened (on our way to the Humane Society).

Very disconcerting.

Living in Hales Corners, I am not accustomed to seeing murdered people lying about on the sidewalk.

Friday, March 06, 2009


But the Iowa House has approved a bill changing the name of the Department of Elder Affairs. If the legislation is signed by Gov. Chet Culver, the agency will be known as the Department of Aging - or DOA.

- AP/azcentral (link here)


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

$280 million wasted

A rocket carrying a NASA satellite crashed near Antarctica after a failed launch early Tuesday, ending a $280 million mission to track global warming from space.

- AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal (link here)

How much did launching and crashing the satellite contribute to global warming?

Monday, February 23, 2009


Adam Fier recently sold his home, got rid of his car and pulled his twin 6-year-old girls out of elementary school in Montgomery County. He and his wife packed the family's belongings and moved to New Zealand -- a place they had never visited or seen before, and where they have no family or professional connections. Among the top reasons: global warming.

- Washington Post (link here)


22 years late

An Oregon woman finally received an invitation to her nephew's high school graduation in New Jersey, but she may be a little late — it was in 1987.

Peter Hass, spokesman for the U.S. Postal Service's Portland district, called the delay "very unusual and very unfortunate."

- AP/ajc (link here)

Maybe raising the price of stamps will improve efficiency.

Sunday, February 22, 2009


"...we don’t need sermons from liberal virtuecrats...."

- Maureen Dowd, NY Times (link here)

I always find it a little weird when I agree with Maureen Dowd.

Soak the rich?

President Barack Obama is putting the finishing touches on an ambitious first budget that seeks to cut the federal deficit in half over the next four years, primarily by raising taxes on businesses and the wealthy and by slashing spending on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, administration officials said.

- Washington Post/Denver Post (link here)

We do this in Wisconsin all the time. Create a business-unfriendly climate and then complain about no new private sector jobs.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Political cartoons

Editorial cartoonists are bending over backwards a lot these days, as they try to satirize the nation's first black president. And when they don't, the result is the kind of outcry that erupted this week after a New York Post cartoon featured a bloody chimpanzee - intentionally or unintentionally evoking racist images of the past.

- AP/Miami Herald (link here)

Maybe they should satirize Mohammed instead.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Muslim stereotypes

The crime drips with brutal irony: a woman decapitated, allegedly by her estranged husband, in the offices of the television network the couple founded with the hope of countering Muslim stereotypes.

- AP/ajc (link here)

What makes them stereotypes?

Friday, February 13, 2009

Alleged death threats

Police said Thursday that they will investigate death threats against octuplet mom Nadya Suleman and advise her publicist on how to handle a torrent of other nasty messages that have flooded his office.

- AP/Denver Post (link here)

But are they credible death threats?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Barack Obama High School

The leader of a group of students who had proposed changing the name of Boulder High School to Barack Obama High School said this afternoon that the group is backing off the plan.

- Denver Post (link here)

Lack of support seems a bit of an understatement.

Obama's ethics

The Senate voted overwhelmingly Wednesday to confirm William Lynn as deputy defense secretary, endorsing President Barack Obama's decision to waive ethics regulations by putting a former defense lobbyist in charge of day-to-day operations at the Pentagon.

- AP/Denver Post (link here)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Freedom from Religion

The Freedom From Religion Foundation is placing "Praise Darwin" billboards in Whitehall, Ohio; Madison, Wis.; Grand Junction, Colo.; Dayton, Tenn.; and Dover, Pa.

The foundation is based in Madison and made up of agnostics and atheists opposed to government displays of religion.

- AP/azcentral (link here)

They fit right in at Madison, the armpit of Wisconsin.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Another grim prediction

If our new, changed and hopeful federal government keeps spending money as if there were no tomorrow, there will be hell to pay. And the persons we can blame, first and foremost, will be President Barack Obama, Rep. Nancy Pelosi and our own Sen. Harry Reid. It will ruin the Democratic Party for a generation, maybe forever.

- Sherman Frederick, Las Vegas Review-Journal (link here)

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Left-wing news & The Biker

(Thanks to my brother for this one.)

The Biker

A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the biker says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.'

The biker replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?''

The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:


Friday, February 06, 2009

Modern day Scrooge

An attorney says a 93-year-old Michigan man who froze to death after a power company restricted electricity to his home over roughly $1,000 in unpaid bills left an estimated $600,000 to a hospital.

- AP/azcentral (link here)

Scrooge liked it dark and cold.

Paying Dr. Death

Since his release from jail, Kevorkian has spoken on a handful of college campuses and television shows. A year ago, he spoke to a crowd of more than 5,000 at the University of Florida for a fee of $57,500.

- Miami Herald (link here)

It sure is lucrative being a criminal.

There are a lot of honest, hard-working Americans that do not make $57,500 in an entire year.


Bored, anonymous, pathetic bloggers who lie annoy me.

- Sarah Palin, quoted by Esquire (link here)

Me, too.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Democratic massacre in 2010?

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Spend-Every-Dime, is a legend in her own mind.

She just about came unglued when asked whether the stimulus bill, which passed without a single Republican vote, represented a failure on her part to find bipartisan support.

- Sherman Frederick, Las Vegas Review-Journal (link here)

Do not ride a white horse

A man has been cited for public intoxication while riding a white horse during a snowstorm in the northern Wyoming town of Cody.

- AP/azcentral (link here)

This is what happens when you ride a white horse.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Global warming pounds Northeast

A destructive winter storm left more than a million customers in the dark before barreling into the Northeast on Wednesday, delaying flights and turning the morning rush into the morning slush as communities braced for the worst.

The storm has been blamed for at least 23 deaths and a glaze of ice and snow that caused widespread power failures from the Southern Plains to the East Coast. Authorities said it could be a week before some communities have electricity again.

- AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal (link here)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Plague

The report that some forty al-Qaeda terrorists died after the bubonic plague swept through their Algerian training camp has been treated with some glee in the media. But that schadenfreude may be misplaced. One question being investigated is whether the North African fanatics fell victim to the naturally-occurring pathogen or the possibility the group mistakenly released the killer bug while brewing it for terror attacks. This incident provides the Obama administration the impetus to assess whether our nation is prepared for a bioterrorist attack.

- Robert Maginnis, Human Events (link here)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Liberals suing liberals

The American Civil Liberties Union of Minnesota filed suit Wednesday against a publicly funded charter school alleging that it is promoting the Muslim religion and is leasing school space from a religious organization without following state law.

- Star Tribune (link here)

Only in Minnesota.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Toyota vs. Ford

(My Dad sent me this one.)

A Modern Parable

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (Ford Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order; American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork posters.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid-off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses.

The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India .

Sadly, the End

Monday, January 19, 2009

A Modest Proposal

(Thanks to Mark for this one.)

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest
election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we
tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations,
but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological
sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's
just end it on friendly terms. We can smile; slate it up to
irreconcilable differences, and go on our own ways.

Here is a model dissolution agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking
a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides
can come to a friendly agreement.

After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and
disparate tastes. We donʼt like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA,
and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell
(you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough
to move them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys,
hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan Hockey Moms,
greedy CEO's, and Rednecks. Weʼll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and

You can make nice with Iran, Palestine, and France, and we'll retain the
right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the
peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under
assault, weʼll provide them job security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values.. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. But we
will no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and
oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru Station Wagon you can

You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing Doctors
(that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow to your turf (sic).

Weʼll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm
sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach The World To
Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics, and you can give trickle up poverty
its best shot.

Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our

Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other likeminded
patriots, and if you do not agree just hit delete and hang on.

In the spirit of friendly parting, Iʼll bet you ANWAR on who will need
whose help in 15 years.

P.S. please take Barbra Streisand.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Global warming pounds Midwest

Forecasters said temperatures in the upper Midwest could turn into the coldest in years as Arctic air keeps spilling southward from Canada.

- AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal (link here)

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Why the rabbit?

(Thanks to Mark for this one)

Suitability Test

A man seeking to join a south Texas Sheriff's Department is being interviewed.

The sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications all look good, but

there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."

Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says, "Take this pistol and

go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists,

and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?"

"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"

Thursday, January 08, 2009

The Back Story

(Thanks to Mark for this one)

To All My Valued Employees,

There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country.

However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.

First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a Back Story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You've seen my big home at last years Christmas party. I'm sure; all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life.

However, what you don't see is the BACK STORY :

I started this company 28 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot studio apartment for 3 years. My entire living apartment was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you.

My diet consisted of Ramen Pride noodles because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didn't have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.

Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50K a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting the Nordstrom's for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the discount store extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 70's. My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.

So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5pm, I don't. There is no "off" button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a 1 year old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden -- the nice house, the Mercedes, the vacations... you never realize the Back Story and the sacrifices I've made.

Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn't. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for.

Yes, business ownership has its benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds.

Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why:

I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough. I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers compensation taxes. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a tax man to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a check to the US Treasury for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" check was? Zero. Nada. Zilch.

The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check? Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country.

The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you? That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy.

Here is what many of you don't understand ... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the eco nomy. Had suddenly government mandated to me that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Washington black-hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.

When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don't defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the poor of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep.

So where am I going with all this?

It's quite simple.

If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV, and your child's future. Frankly, it isn't my problem any more.

Then, I will close this company down, and retire. You see, I'm done. I'm done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed.

So, if you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steamrolled the constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about....

Signed, THE BOSS

Give back the kidney

When his wife needed a kidney transplant, Richard Batista gave her one of his, attorney Dominic Barbara said.

Now that Dawnell Batista has filed for a divorce, Richard Batista wants his kidney back as part of his settlement demand.

- Newday/Denver Post (link here)


Friday, January 02, 2009

Ancient climate change

Something dramatic happened about 12,900 years ago, and the continent of North America was never the same. A thriving culture of Paleo-Americans, known as the Clovis people, vanished seemingly overnight. Gone, too, were most of the largest animals: horses, camels, lions, mammoths, mastodons, saber-toothed cats, ground sloths and giant armadillos.

- Washington Post (link here)


Thursday, January 01, 2009

Air Force champion

(Thanks to Dad for this one)

The ex-cheerleader (age 19) and now an Air Force Security Forces Sniper in this picture was watching a road that lead to a NATO military base when she observed a man digging by the road. She engaged the target, and she shot him. Turned out he was a bomb maker for the Taliban and he was burying an IED that was to be detonated when a US patrol walked by 30 minutes later. It would have certainly killed and wounded several soldiers.

The interesting fact of this story is the shot was measured at 725 yards. She shot him as he was bent over burying the bomb. The shot struck him in the butt blowing into the bomb which detonated. He was blown to pieces.

The Air Force made a motivational poster of her.