Greetings

For my Liberal friends:

Please accept with no obligation,
implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral
celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most
enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or
secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily
greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western
Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed,
color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of
the wishes.

By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the
aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to
clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher
to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and
is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion
of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and
warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new
wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

For My Conservative Friends:

“Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!”